Dear !LivewireSparks (https://www.deviantart.com/livewiresparks),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself for candy. I think I realized it When your dwarf bit me At the mental hospital and I saw you Pour syrup on My salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're Scarred enough to understand That we're related. I'm returning Your love letters to me, but keeping Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Go drown yourself
PFFFFFFTTTTTTT THIS WAS JUST WAY TOO FUN
Dear (last person who speak to you),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but